So stupid

It was our work Christmas night out last night and in view of the IVF next month I had decided not to drink. At the very last minute I decided that I’d be fine to have a couple of glasses of wine and asked The Boy to drive me. Big mistake!

I appear to be literally incapable of just having two glasses of wine, even though having a baby is absolutely the most important thing to me. I went with the flow of the group and consequently had about two thirds of a bottle of wine and a cocktail. Now it’s 7am on a Sunday morning and I can’t sleep for the guilt (and also the room is spinning slightly).

I simply don’t understand why I do this. I’ve probably ruined any healthy eggs  I have left and if the IVF fails next month I’ll blame myself. And rightly so! I haven’t had drunk since October and I just wanted to enjoy a decent glass of wine. I really hope that I haven’t ruined our chances of success.

 

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10 thoughts on “So stupid”

  1. I so understand the dilemma of whether to drink or not when you know there’s a cycle coming up. And I also know that moderation for me is difficult, so I am better off avoiding alcohol altogether. I have my own issues around drinking, hence my blog.
    But if I were you I would try not to worry too much…you had more drinks than planned, but don’t beat yourself up about it. You can always decide to not drink from now until you know whether or not your cycle has been successful. Try not to fall into the trap of ‘oh well I’ve had some drinks and undone all the good work so I might as well just carry on’ no! This is just a little blip, if that.
    Today, you could do some healthy things, like drink plenty of water, and some other detox/cleansing things like have avocado, a green juice/smoothie, perhaps a walk outside in the fresh air. And some vitamin c…have you got any Christmassy clementines in the fruit bowl? Or better yet a red pepper.
    All is not lost! I hope your head feels better soon ☺ x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I did relax and had a lovely time. I’m pretty much on a detox every day and I think that in itself got the better of me. I’m trying to rationalise that I probably would have had a few glasses of wine over Christmas and new year so I won’t now and that’s my quota done in one go.

      I’m off to find some paracetamol and some vitamin C!

      Xx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t beat yourself up! You won’t have ruined anything, I had my 40th during my 1st FET cycle, it fell about 10 days prior to the transfer, I was told I could have a night off, and enjoy myself by my doctor… which I did. A few drinks isn’t going to kill off your eggs, and relaxing and actually enjoying yourself probably did you the world of good ahead of your cycle…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh that’s really good to hear! I’m seeing my doctor tomorrow but I didn’t want to tell him in case he disapproved. He did make a point of telling me to have a few drinks at Christmas though so that fits with what your doctor said too.
      I’m just going to be really healthy from now on and try to stop worrying about it.
      Thank you! xx

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  3. I’ve done IVF where I haven’t drunk for ages, and also IVF where although I tried not to drink I did have a few drinks here and there – looking back I’m not sure there was that much difference between the two. In fact one of my best cycles was after I went on a hen do and got totally wrecked (and had all the guilts). As others have said one night shouldn’t ruin all your good work. Tty not to beat yourself up, sometimes we need the mental release of a good night out and sometimes that might involve a few drinks. It sounds like you’re back on the detox game now so good for you and best of luck. x

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    1. This is a relief to hear! I’m a bit more reassured now 😊. Isn’t the guilt awful!! I was good this afternoon and had a vegetable smoothie whilst my friend had 2 glasses of wine so I feel a little more virtuous now than I did at 7am! Xx

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  4. I did something similar two months ago! I had been so good barely drinking any alcohol at all and then I was out one night and I’d decided I’d have one or two glasses of wine max but then I met up with an old friend and she was buying shots and as you can imagine I ended up getting carried away and drinking WAY too much!

    At the time it had just been so nice to forget about all the infertility stuff and just have fun with my friends. But I really regretted it the next day, was totally worried I’d ruined my eggs! Wishing you best of luck with your ICSI! I also have borderline AMH value and am a poor responder to the hormones. I keep reminding myself that it’s quality not quantity and just praying and hoping for the best. Good luck!! x

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    1. Thank you. I’m relieved to know it’s not just me that does this. It was so nice to not think about infertility for once. Sounds like we’re pretty similar in some ways!
      Ah well, onwards and upwards … xx

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