This time last year was probably the most difficult stage of our journey to have a child so far. I was in the midst of fighting my case to persuade our CCG to grant funding for IVF and I was terrified that they’d say no again. If I’d known then that just a year later I’d have a decent-sized bump, looking at my baby on an ultrasound scan at twenty-six weeks I really don’t think I’d have believed it.
Of course it hasn’t been plain sailing. I never really allow it be! I have started to enjoy being pregnant and I check out my bump multiple times a day. But as I became more aware of our baby’s pattern of movement I knew it would lead to a meltdown when I couldn’t feel the baby in the same way as I’d become used to. This happened over the last two days. On Sunday I’d noticed a slight reduction in movements but I put it down to being out of my weekday routine. By the end of Monday I’d barely felt the baby kick and I spent 3.5 hours lying on my left side, eating ice-cream and drinking cold, fizzy sugary drinks. It worked and the baby kicked a few times but that was largely it. I am used to being kicked a lot now! Eventually The Boy & I visited our local triage unit. As soon as I sat on the blue sofa in the waiting area the baby kicked! They measured me, checked the heartbeat & asked me to stay for half an hour to take a trace of the baby’s movements and heartbeat. It turns out this baby was moving a lot but I just couldn’t feel it at all. I have a posterior placenta so I should have good sensation of the movements so they couldn’t really explain why, but thought it had probably just moved to somewhere with more space to move its limbs around. Just as we were leaving the midwife mentioned I was measuring small and asked us to return this morning for a growth scan. By this point it was about 2am so you can imagine I didn’t get much sleep last night! On a side note a couple who had also gone to triage last night left shortly before us WITH THEIR BABY! The man looked completely shell-shocked whilst the woman was beaming. The Boy overheard him saying the baby was premature and he became worried (& a little bit excited) that we too might leave with a baby in tow! I’m assuming they were wheeled off to a ward somewhere but I think she must have been further along than I am, because she was holding it in a blanket.
Anyway, after a sleepless night the growth scan turned out to be fine. The baby was back in the range of normal and it was suggested that because I’m tall (6ft) my bump may be smaller because the baby has more space? Who knows! The sonographer checked my fluid levels and my placenta so I feel like I’ve had a fairly robust MOT. It was also really lovely to see the baby again. I tried to sneak a peak at the gender area – there was nothing obvious but even the sonographer wasn’t sure if she was looking at an arm or a leg at one point so it probably wasn’t the clearest picture! My husband wants a surprise & I do too really but I’d also love to know.
On another side note I made the epic mistake of buying myself a second-hand swimsuit on eBay. Never do this! In hindsight I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea but I begrudged spending £30 on something I’d only wear for a few months so I went on eBay instead and found a really pretty costume. When it arrived I naturally checked the crotch to make sure it was clean and there was a crusty layer of something resembling vaginal discharge on it!! I had to construct an awkward message explaining that it wasn’t clean ( I didn’t go into details but figured she’d find the stain when I sent it back) & requested a refund. I know I could have washed it myself but I just couldn’t have worn it knowing what had been there – yikes!!
So there we are. Twenty-six weeks, still totally anxious and expecting to miscarry any day but enjoying being pregnant more and more, finding fun in the little things again and even managing to relax at times!